All I had to do was to take a step forward. Just one step and everything will end. There won’t be any more pain, or sadness or heartache. I would be free of the constant darkness that was drowning me
I hear a car in the distance, but I don’t turn. I still don’t turn when a door slams.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Ava?” Rowan’s voice growls from behind me.
I don’t turn even as the wind picks up. I feel its force. As if it was also urging me to make that one step.
“Ava, please. Step away from the cliff. Come to me” I feel his presence as he slowly approaches me, but I
don’t step back.
I was so tired. Tired of crying. Tired of hurting. Tired of the constant fucking pain. I was so fucking tired of
fighting. The pain was constant. Always there. Slowly killing me. Reducing me to someone I didn’t want to
“I don’t think I can do this, Rowan. I just want it all to stop. I want to know what peace is because I haven’t
had it since I was born. I just don’t have it in me to keep fighting anymore” I cry, feeling worn out.
“Killing yourself isn’t the answer” he says, just as he grabs me and pulls me back.
I had been so distracted that I didn’t notice how close he had gotten.
“Let go of me! Let me go right now. Let me end this once and for all” I scream, thrashing in his hands,
Needing him to let me go..
“Snap out of it Ava!” he shouts back at me. Refusing to let go. “Think about Noah, are you going to leave
him motherless? Are you going to leave him with the pain of losing his beloved mother at such a young
age? What about you’re unborn child, are you so fucking selfish and cruel that you would kill an innocent
baby? Your own flesh and blood” he shakes me, his face hardening with each word he says.
At the mention of Noah’s name. I stop fighting him.
“No! I don’t care what you think right now or if you’ll even hate me later, but I’m booking you an
appointment with a therapist. You’re going to work on your issues and you’re going to be the best
goddamn mother to your two children and you will love them both unconditionally despite who their
father is or so help me God, Ava, I will…” he doesn’t finish his sentence but I get what he’s saying.
He was breathing hard, grey storms raging in his eyes. His hands tightening around me as if he was afraid
of letting me go,
I sink in his arms. The fight completely leaving me. He picks me up bridal style, holding me close as i feel his erratic beating heart
His cologne washes over me and I calm down.
“How did you find me?” I ask as he walks us to his car.
“1 will always find you, Ava” he replies firmly. “Always”
“Thank you, for pulling me back today” I tell him as I sink deeper into his warmth, feeling ashamed that! contemplated taking my life and that of my baby.
His reply is a soft kiss to my cheek then my temple.
I sigh. Rowan was right. Noah didn’t deserve to lose his mom and my unborn child didn’t deserve to lose his or her life at my hands. They deserve to live fully and have a mom that loved them so much.
I was going to make a couple of changes. One of them being pushing my bitterness and anger aside and facing Ethan. He needed to know that he was going to be a father. Which means I have to make a trip to prison.