“Ava can we please talk?” mother pleads when I move to leave.
I stare at her, not sure what she wanted. What was there to talk about? Hasn’t everything already been said and done?
“There isn’t anything for us to talk about, Mother” I insist.
Looking back, I see now how I made a distinction when it came to her and father. While Emma and Travis referred to them as mom and dad, to me they were Father and Mother. Clean, cut and completely impersonal.
I never truly acknowledged them as my parents, because deep down I just knew. Parents don’t hate their children. Parents don’t neglect their child and treat them like shit. I made what I called them impersonal because on a spiritual level, I didn’t consider them my parents.
“Please, I beg you” she pleads with tears in her eyes.
It was so strange looking at her with tears in her eyes. Her face flushed and soft. This is a look I’ve never seen her direct at me. Her face was always in a frown. She always looked at me with a certain cold indifference that was specifically targeted at me.
“How about you show me to our table as they talk?” Martha, Rowan’s mom asks Corrine while cutting off what I was about to say.
Corrine looks skeptical. Like she didn’t want to leave me. After all, it was known that the Sharp family weren’t my biggest fan even though I was apparently their daughter.
Martha doesn’t give Corrine a chance. Instead she links their hands and pulls her away in the opposite
I sigh and take my seat. “Let’s just get this over with, looks like you won’t leave me alone until you’ve said your piece, so do it now before I change my mind” I tell her coldly.
I used to adore this woman back in my younger days. When I was around five or six. That quickly changed when I realized that she didn’t feel the same way. It changed when I realized she treated me as if I was more of a burden, than a daughter.
She hesitantly takes her seat before taking my hands in hers. I pull them away. Not wanting her to touch me. I didn’t want her near me. The part of me that had longed for such moments was long dead.
“I’m sorry, Ava. More than you’ll ever know” she whispers, folding into herself.
Instead of saying anything, I keep quiet. I always imagined this moment. Always day dreamed of her apologizing to me, then pulling me into her arms. I used to crave it. Pray for it. Hope for the day to come. Now that it’s here, the joy I thought I would feel is nonexistent. I feel absolutely nothing as I stare at her.
“The way I treated you was wrong. You were just a child and instead of embracing you, I pushed you away. You loved me, loved us, but we gave you nothing but scorn. I wish more than anything that I could go back in time and change things. Go back and be the mother you deserved” she said before continuing.
“I never saw your value. Never acknowledged that you’re the best daughter anyone can have. It took almost losing you to realize how much you mean to me”
She was full on crying. If I was my old self, then her tears would have moved me. I wasn’t though, and her
tears meant absolutely nothing to me.
Years of pain. More than twenty five years of hurting. It can’t be erased by a few drops of tears. It just
doesn’t work like that. It would heaven’s intervention inorder for that to happen.
“Look, let’s cut to the crap okay? If this is about the threat my mother made on your company, we can
discuss it as adults. There is no need for you to try and sweeten me up, that shit won’t work. Instead of all
the drama, why don’t you tell me the real reason you wanted us to talk” I tell her emotionlessly.