Chapter 0153
“For pushing. I keep pushing the issue about Rowan not realizing how much it is hurting you. I just want you to be happy and a part of me thinks Rowan is your happiness. You’ve loved him so long that it’s hard
to believe that all of it is gone.”
“Letty…” She was on a rant so she doesn’t give me a chance to speak.
“I want you to have a chance to be happy. You told me that you used to want Rowan to have feelings for. you, but now that it seems he has, you don’t believe it and you’re against it. I just don’t get it”
I sigh. This again?
I was getting tired of hearing them speak about Rowan and his so–called feelings. It grated on my mind every time they did. Rowan didn’t factor in my life and neither did his feelings. He could take them and
shove them up his stuck up ass for all I cared. 1
I’m going to explain it this once and then I never want to hear about this ever again” I breathe before
continuing.
1 loved Rowan and a part of me will probably forever will. Sure, you can’t get over that kind of love but it can be slowly killed by actions from the one you love. Rowan hurt me in so many ways that the love I once had for him turned into poison. A poison that was slowly killing me inside. That love I had became too painful for me, so in order to preserve the little pieces of myself I had, I buried it so deep that it could
never be dug up again”
I feel my heart hurt when I speak of the love I had for Rowan. Like I said, it was probably still there, but it
was buried under years of his cruelty. The pain he inflicted later became heavier than the love I felt.
He never lifted a hand against me, but sometimes I wish he had. Physical wounds were easier to heal
unlike the mental one and those inflicted on the heart and soul.
“Rowan hurt me in a way I would never wish on my worst enemy. Burying that love was the only way I
could survive the hurricane that was him.”
I hear her sobbing. It hurts me, but I have to make her understand.
“I’m sorry, Ava. I didn’t mean to drench up such painful memories”
“I know, Letty and I know you want me to be happy, but Rowan isn’t the key. If we were never happy in the nine years we were married, what makes you think we’ll be happy together now?”
Like I keep telling Letty, I doubt Rowan has any feelings for me except hate, and even if he miraculously developed some, too much has already happened for us to move past it.
I’m really sorry. I promise never to mention it again”
I exhale in relief.
“Thank you, and besides, did you forget I swore off men? Love isn’t for me. Looking at the men I’ve been with, history has taught me I have horrible taste when It comes to them” I chuckle.
She lets out a small laugh. She had a field day the day I announced I was done with men.
“Yeah I remember. I guess the business idea came at the perfect time. Free S** toys for you” this time her laugh is more robust and I’m glad I was able to draw her from the melancholy feelings she had. 1
“Speaking of which…”
I proceed to tell her everything we discussed with the lawyer. Explaining to her why I had to be a silent partner instead. Just like I had predicted, she accepts the idea.
“I completely understand. I see no problem with it and I’m sure that Corrine will understand too”
“I’ll speak to her later”
“Which reminds me, did you buy from the list we sent you like we asked you too?” She asks after some
time.
“I was planning to go after the meeting with my lawyer”
“Well you better get your butt up and go..your feedback is very important” she pauses and I hear someone
talking to her before she gets back on the phone. “I have to go, there’s an impromptu meeting and I’m
needed”
“It’s okay. Have a great day and take care”
“You too and remember to let me know once you’ve gotten the toys” 1
After that we hung up.
I finish doing my chores, take a shower, get ready then I leave. Heading straight to the mall. It doesn’t take me long to get there.
After parking my car, I head inside. I was a nervous wreck. I was excited but at the same time I felt like I was doing something wrong. Like everyone will judge me and find me lacking by entering a S** toy shop, let alone buying from it.
I follow the directions to where Corrine told me her favorite shop is located. I breathe a sigh of relief when I realize that it in a somehow hidden location.
I pause when I get to it. Still unsure of what exactly I had let my friends talk me into. It was as I was
seriously debating whether to enter or not, when I heard his unmistakable deep voice.
Ava?
Ah fuck! What the hell was he doing here?
Synopsis
Ava: Nine years ago I did something terrible. it wasn’t one of my best moments but I saw an opportunity to have the guy I’ve loved since I was a young girl and I took it. Fast forward to years later and I’m tired of living in a loveless marriage. I want to free both of us from a marriage that should never have taken place. They say if you love something…. It was time to let him go. I know he’ll never love me and that I’ll never be his choice. His heart will always belong to Her and despite my sins, I deserve to be loved. Rowan: Nine years ago, I was so in love I could barely see right. I ruined it when I made the worst mistake of my life and in the process I lost the love of my life. I knew I had to step up in my responsibility and so I did, with an unwanted wife. With the wrong woman. Now she has once again flipped my life by divorcing me. To make matters even more complicated, the love of my life is back in town. Now the only question is, who is the right woman? Is it the girl I fell head over heels in love with years ago? or is it my ex wife, the woman I never wanted but had to marry?
