hapter 0331
Chapter 168
T’en still reeling from everything that Rowan told me. Everything that he told me made sense, but I just don’t know whether I can trust his mond
My mind has been in turmoil since then. I didn’t know whether to believe him or not. I get that he had a hard time letting go of everything he and Emma had planned for the future I get that he also had a hard time letting go of a love that he thought would be eternal. Hell, t understand that if I were in his shoes, I would have struggled too with my feelings, but what about me?
What about what I’ve been through at his hands? What about the paint endured and the feelings I’m still struggling with? I’ve loved Rowan even when I shouldn’t have, and I think the moment I realized that I should have let go.
I want a future with him, but how can I fight against my memories of everything he’s ever done to hurt me? I can forgive, but I’m really not sure that I can forget, and that’s where the problem lies. I believe that past pain and memories will always pull us back a few steps behind, every time we make progress.
“We’re here, ma’am,” Boris, who is my driver and also my bodyguard, says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I look outside, and we’re packed right outside my parent’s mansion.
He gets outside, opens the door for me, and helps me unbuckle Iris. I thank him once that’s done and then begin heading towards the house.
Iris was fussy, and I was double sure it’s because she was hungry, or the long ride to my parents house.
The door opens before I can even knock, and Nora’s excited face greets us.
“I’m so happy you’re here,” she says giddily, making me grin at her excitement despite my
inner turmoil.
“Hi,” I murmur awkwardly.
She pulls me in for a tight hug, careful not to hurt Iris. Theo appears behind her and does the same. In their arms, I feel something that I never felt with Kate and James. The countable times they hugged me, it felt cold, but with Nora and Theo, it felt warm, and I felt like I was safe and at peace.
“Come on in… I’ve been anxiously waiting for you to come” she says as she ushers me inside.
“She’s right, you know… She’s been so excited. It was like looking at a kid in a candy store,”
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Nora slaps his chest playfully. “Stop pretending, old man, you were the same,” she then turns to me. “He kept asking when his little girl would get here.”
Their playfulness and the love shinning in their eyes bring an uncomfortable feeling to me. This is what I wanted with Rowan. What I’ve always wanted. Only, I’m not sure that we’ll ever get it at this point.
I mean, Nora and Theo are teen sweethearts and are still together. Rowan and Emma were high school sweethearts, and I can’t help but wonder if they would still be together if I hadn’t happened. If my obsession hadn’t broken them apart. I guess deep down, that’s one of the things that I struggle with when it comes to my relationship with Rowan. That, and my missing memories.
When we get to the living room, I cover myself and feed Iris. When she’s done, I burp her, and immediately Nora takes her from me. I don’t mind because I needed to pull myself together.
I watch them play with her as I try to bring my head back in order. I was here to tell them that I was ready to give them a chance, but my head was somewhere else. I admit that I was quite a mess. My thoughts were jumbled, and I felt like I needed to make a decision.
“I can tell that you’re trouble, my dear. Mind sharing?” Nora’s sweet and soft voice pulls me away from my musings.
I stare at her, then Theo, wondering if I should talk to them or not. I needed advice. Letty was on team Rowan, and from what I’ve learned, she has always been on his team. As for my parents, they weren’t really big fans of Rowan, so I don’t know if their advice would be biased
or not.
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Synopsis
Ava: Nine years ago I did something terrible. it wasn’t one of my best moments but I saw an opportunity to have the guy I’ve loved since I was a young girl and I took it. Fast forward to years later and I’m tired of living in a loveless marriage. I want to free both of us from a marriage that should never have taken place. They say if you love something…. It was time to let him go. I know he’ll never love me and that I’ll never be his choice. His heart will always belong to Her and despite my sins, I deserve to be loved. Rowan: Nine years ago, I was so in love I could barely see right. I ruined it when I made the worst mistake of my life and in the process I lost the love of my life. I knew I had to step up in my responsibility and so I did, with an unwanted wife. With the wrong woman. Now she has once again flipped my life by divorcing me. To make matters even more complicated, the love of my life is back in town. Now the only question is, who is the right woman? Is it the girl I fell head over heels in love with years ago? or is it my ex wife, the woman I never wanted but had to marry?
