Chapter 0353
It’s been a week since I asked Rowan to give me time. He’s tried to keep his distance, but it hasn’t been easy for both of us.
I won’t lie, I really miss him. I miss being around him. I miss our talks. I miss everything about him. It’s been quite an adjustment trying to merge the Rowan I was used to and the Rowan I woke up to after my coma.
It doesn’t take genius to know that he loves me, but is it enough? Part of me wants to forgive him and move forward; the other part is afraid that the
memories of the past will always be a thorn between us. I mean, how can we be happy if I haven’t been able to let go of the past?
It’s also been an adjustment for Noah and Iris. They haven’t made it a secret that they miss Rowan. Noah talks about him all the time and keeps asking when we are going to go back and live with his father. Iris has been irritable since we left.
She cries a lot and is restless. The only time she settles down is when Rowan calls and she hears his voice. The bond those two have despite Rowan not being her father amazes. It’s something else that I don’t know how to deal with.
I could go back for the sake of the kids, but I don’t want that. That is not the basis for building the relationship. If I’m to go back, I want it to be because I want to. Because I want to give us a try.
A knock on the door pulls me from my thoughts. Since the day I went to the station, I haven’t been out much. I’ve also just hidden myself away, withdrawing from those around me. My mind hasn’t been able to settle, especially knowing that I have to make a decision soon.
I carry a crying Iris and open the door, surprised to find Rowan’s mother on the other side.
“Hello, Ava,” she greets with a small and warm smile. “Is it alright if I come in?”
I was completely speechless, so I just nodded my head instead. I take a step back and let her in.
I keep bouncing Iris up and down, trying to comfort her and get her to quiet down, but it doesn’t work. I was at my wits end on what to do.
“Is she growing a tooth?” she politely asks. “Is that why she’s crying?”
I take a moment to compose myself before answering. This is a situation I never thought I’d find myself in. Rowan’s mom never liked me. I do understand her,
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caused my son to lose the girl he loved. I would even be more bitter knowing it’s because of her that my son was living in a miserable marriage.
“It seems she misses her home and Rowan,” I calmly and simply reply.
She nods her head as if she understands. It’s quiet between us for a while. The atmosphere is heavy with awkwardness. I didn’t know how to deal with it. Part of me just wanted her to say what she came to say so I could relax.
“I don’t mean to be rude,” I begin. “But is there a reason why you’re here?”
She takes a deep breath. “Yes. First of all, I want to apologize for everything that has happened over the years. You didn’t deserve our scorn and you definitely didn’t deserve what we put you through.”
“It doesn’t matter; it’s in the past.” I immediately cut her off. The last thing I want is for us to rehash the past. I was so tired of it.
Things happened that were beyond my control. They did what they did, and there is no use crying over what has already happened. It’s not like any of us can go back and change the past.
Then why can’t you forgive Rowan and let go? The nagging voice asked.
“No, it does matter,” she breathes out. “I believe that part of the reason why you won’t forgive Rowan is because of what we did to you.”
“Rowan?”
“Yes, he’s the other reason why I’m here.”
I sigh tiredly. I should have seen this coming. “I see”
By this time, Iris had quieted down and was now struggling not to fall asleep. She still had the stubbornness of her drawn-down eyebrows, but at least she’d stopped crying.
“I don’t think you do,” she says softly. “Rowan has become a mess without you. He truly loves you, and now he thinks he’s lost you for good. It’s like the mere realization of that fact has made him lose the life inside him. He has become a zombie. The only time we get a reaction from him is when you, Noah or Iris are mentioned.” o
It pained me to hear all this. I really didn’t think that my leaving would have this impact on him. In my head, I rationalized that yes, he did love me, but was it too much for his life to stop simply because I’d left?
I did love him. I fucking loved him even after everything, but I just didn’t know
Synopsis
Ava: Nine years ago I did something terrible. it wasn’t one of my best moments but I saw an opportunity to have the guy I’ve loved since I was a young girl and I took it. Fast forward to years later and I’m tired of living in a loveless marriage. I want to free both of us from a marriage that should never have taken place. They say if you love something…. It was time to let him go. I know he’ll never love me and that I’ll never be his choice. His heart will always belong to Her and despite my sins, I deserve to be loved. Rowan: Nine years ago, I was so in love I could barely see right. I ruined it when I made the worst mistake of my life and in the process I lost the love of my life. I knew I had to step up in my responsibility and so I did, with an unwanted wife. With the wrong woman. Now she has once again flipped my life by divorcing me. To make matters even more complicated, the love of my life is back in town. Now the only question is, who is the right woman? Is it the girl I fell head over heels in love with years ago? or is it my ex wife, the woman I never wanted but had to marry?
